This Is The Way The World Ends
by Snuffles-sweetie
Summary: What would have happened to Char and The Marauders if everything went according to the books and the last chapters of TMAM never happened? Spin-Off End to TMAM. NOT SEQUEL. And NOT THE HAPPILY EVER AFTER VERSION.
1. Chapter 1

**An: **I am back people...and with the Spin-Off ending to the marauders and me. **NOT SEQUEL.** I had originally planned for this to be a one-shot. But as soon as I started typing I realised that it would be too long for a One-Shot. It will jump right into the fifth book as you will notice and then go back as flash-backs. So here it is. The first Chapter. Enjoy.

**Disclaimer: **I have said it before and I will say it again...I do not own the brilliance that has come out of JK Rowlings brain.

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**This Is The Way The World Ends.**

**By Snuffles-sweetie**

_**This is the way the world ends**_

_**This is the way the world ends**_

_**This is the way the world ends**_

_**Not with a bang but a whimper**_

**-****T.S. Eliot-**

**Chapter One.**

Something should have clicked when Sirius started to duel with Bella. But I was too occupied with helping my children, Harry and the others to notice. But when I turned around, I wish I would have noticed.

I saw him laugh rather then heard the actual laugh.

It was like all the sounds had been turned off. Complete silence.

Everything seemed to go in slow-motion.

I saw the laughter and amusement in his eyes turn into shock when Bella's curse hit.

I saw the laughter mixed with shock fade when he fell. Fell into the veil, into the beyond.

The silence ended abruptly when a blood curling scream echoed in the atrium.

I have never heard such an agonized scream. The sound was horrible and inhuman.

It was then I noticed that the sound was coming from my own mouth. I fell to my knees in shock and I couldn't stop screaming. My scream was mixed with Harry's shouts for Sirius and Em and Chris screaming for their dad.

I felt someone touch my arm but I didn't react, I just kept on screaming until my throat was raw and no sound could come out of it.

I didn't even see Harry chase after Bella.

I didn't see my children's tearstained faces as they tried to talk to me.

I never saw Moony's worried expression when he tried to get my attention.

All I saw was his face, the veil and my death. Yes I do believe that a part of me died right there, that night. The second Sirius fell into that veil I felt my heart rip out of my chest and a part of my soul died.

I was nothing but an empty shell.

I don't remember much after that. I know someone; Moony, I think took us all to Hogwarts. This is where I woke up and started crying, hugging my kids. The reasons I was still here. I left them in the hospital wing to find Moony. I didn't have to walk far. He was right outside with Dumbledore, Molly and Arthur. I didn't hear their condolences, I didn't want to hear them, and all I saw was Moony. This is when I spoke my first words since it happened.

"Moony…I need to ask you a favour," I said, my voice hoarse from all the screaming and crying. He looked at me curiously and sadly and nodded.

"I need you to take Em and Chris tonight." I ignored the shocked gasp that Molly made and I guess that's what covered the sound from the door creaking.

"Why Char? Why would you want me to do that?" he said his expression sombre and unwilling. I knew he didn't understand. I didn't think he would either, no one would, except maybe him. But he was the reason for it so that didn't help much.

"Please Moony. I need to be alone and get really drunk tonight," I pleaded with him tears in my eyes.

"They need you Mrs Black. Why would you leave them alone in a moment like this! When they need you the most to help them with the loss of their…," Molly ranted and I angrily turned to her and snapped;

"Don't finish that sentence. And don't you think I know that! But I can't handle this tonight…I just can't! Maybe I'm a shitty mother and godmother, and not some kind of super mom like you…everyone can't be fucking perfect okay! I need to get real drunk and try and forget this!" I was breathing heavily and everyone around me looked shocked. I turned to Moony again and said;

"Please Moony…I beg of you. I beg you to take them just for tonight. I'll be there tomorrow morning sober and willing to handle everything…just don't make me tonight," I pleaded and begged but his expression didn't change. All I saw was confusion and pity.

"Why? If you give me a good reason…" He said. I felt a tear fall down my cheek when I opened my mouth again.

"I can't handle it tonight. I need to get drunk, and I don't want them to see me like that. Those kids are the only reason I'm still here, okay? I died the minute he did. I felt my heart…my soul rip apart…I died, Moony. I'm nothing but an empty shell…" I paused and breathed air that seemed to have a bitter taste and I didn't even know that air tasted anything.

"The reasons I still have any will power to live anymore are named Emily Rose Black, Christopher Regulus Black and Harry James Potter. Those are my only reasons to live. If they didn't exist you wouldn't be looking at me okay? I would have sliced my wrist or something, perhaps taken a swim in the lake without any intention of coming out of there.... Don't look so damn shocked Moony you know its true. I lost him once before Moony. In the same night that I lost my brother and sister. And then I got him back…but now he's gone again and I can't get him back…never again…what have I done to deserve this? I must be a really shitty person right? And like Molly here has already stated I'm a shitty mum…but I need to get drunk and just…" I stopped to breathe and wipe my tears.

"This still hasn't explained why you want me to take them," the sad voice of Moony said. I looked up at him with a wry smile on my lips.

"Two words; I'm shitty person. That and…every time I look at Chris I see him and when I look at Em's eyes I see his eyes. I can't deal with staring at him or having his eyes stare back at me tonight. Any other time Moony, but not tonight." He seemed to understand and nodded. I hugged him and didn't even bother with saying goodbye to anyone, I couldn't handle it. Had I only known that we were being watched the whole time…

I hurried through the castle which was silent. This place that used to represent a time of happiness, now represented this dull, acing feeling that I couldn't name. I think I spotted Snape on my way through the door but I ignored him. I hurried over the moonlit grounds, my whole body acing of longing to get the hell away from there. I apparated as soon as I reached the gates of Hogwarts. I apparated to Grimmauld place, the last place on earth I really wanted to be in, but I couldn't think of anything else. I made the mistake of slamming the door to loud and was met by the screeching of my lovely mother-in-law.

"SCUM, BLOOD TRAITOR, INVADING THE NOBLE HOUSE OF BLACK…!" she didn't get further than that because I screamed back at her;

"WOULD YOU SHUT UP YOU MISERABLE OLD HAG!" surprisingly, she did. Even as a portrait she must have sensed that something was terribly off. I stormed into the kitchen and grabbed every liquor bottle I could find. On my way upstairs to our…well it would be my room now I guess…I met Kreacher. He was mumbling to himself and forced a small bow mumbling something about;

"Missus Black…filthy blood traitor…" I sneered at him and kicked him out of my way. I stepped into the room that used to be ours and put all the bottles on the bed. I looked around dully and felt silent tears fall down my cheeks. This was not really a place filled with happy memories but it wasn't filled with terrible memories either, it was indifferent. That's the main reason I chose this place, I think.

I rummaged through the cabinet and found one of his shirts. I put it to my face and drew a huge breath. His scent filled my nostrils, his scent that smelled like the outdoors after the rain, which was strange because he hadn't stepped outside for a long time, and just this musky sent that only he could smell. The scent that usually gave me comfort, but now it just made me cry harder. I quickly threw my slightly bloody and dusty shirt away and pulled his shirt over my head. I was surrounded by his scent, it felt somewhat calming.

My next move was to "accio" the album I had made after we got married and the other one the girls and I made that were filled with pictures from school. And then that small box that held everything from the first rose he gave me to the beautiful bracelet he gave me when I was pregnant with Em. I threw them and myself on our bed, where I had already put the liquor. I quickly arranged myself so that I was sitting in the middle of the bed with his pillow and mine behind me. I took the first bottle that turned out to be scotch, I wrinkled my nose a bit at the smell…I never really liked scotch after all. But this was not a time to be picky, no this was just a time to get blind drunk. I chugged down the whole thing and made a face at the taste, but that numbing feeling that came afterwards…well the awful taste was worth it.

I took another bottle which was half filled with fire whiskey, a much more pleasant drink according to me; I smutted on it and then took the album from school and opened it.

There on the first page were a big picture of us, the whole gang; the girls, the marauders, Reggie, Frank…and most importantly…him. I smiled slightly and turned the page. The lump in my throat grew bigger when my eyes scanned a picture of him and me at the Potters.

We were young; we had just gotten together and blissfully happy. I could feel the tears in my eyes and I didn't even try to stop them. I went through the whole album sniffling and then I stared at the other one. This one I was more hesitant to open. But I drew a shaky breath, took a big clunk of vodka…the whiskey had been long gone and I was starting to feel comfortably numb, and opened the album. I choked back a sob as soon as I did. There on the first picture was I, in my beautiful wedding dress that Damien designed for me, smiling happily in the arms of him, looking handsome in his black tux that Damien had designed as well. He was smiling happily as well and then he suddenly dipped me and kissed me deeply. The fake snow fell around us and we just looked like any happy newlyweds really…I remembered our wedding. It was a winter wedding, a small thing really…we didn't want anything big. But that day was one of the happiest days of my life. Next came a lot of pictures from the wedding…I don't even remember who took them anymore.

Next came the pictures we took on our honeymoon, we had gone to the Caribbean and most of them were of us on the beach. I smiled at one picture where the two of us where standing in the waves and he was standing behind me, his hands on the minor baby bump that was barely noticeable, even when I was in a bikini. A tear splattered down on the page and I had to take a small break and conjured up some tissues. When I had composed myself slightly I turned the page and almost broke down again. There was a picture of me and Lily with our backs against each other, we were smiling and laughing both of us pregnant and holding our hands on our bumps. There was this glow around us and we just looked so happy like we had no worries whatsoever. The next picture made me cry even harder it was a picture of me, Emily as a new born baby, and him. Remus had taken it of us at saint Mungos….only hours after Em had been born. We were sitting on my bed and the sun shone through the window at us and enveloped us in this light. He was holding our baby and looking lovingly down at her and me that were sitting next to him with my arms around him and our first child. When I looked through the album I realized that in this...world made of pictures the damn war didn't exist. I closed the album and took another drink; my sight went to my left hand and rested on my wedding and engagement ring. I started sobbing again and thought of everything that had happened.

One memory vividly entered my mind, a memory that I hated with passion, a memory I wish I could forget. The night I lost my brother, sister, godson and husband…

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**An: **OH YEAH! Anyone confused over who the hell this Chris person is. Well that would be my fault. I had originally planned for Char to end up with two children in the original story...It didn't fit as I wrote on but it fit into this...so here he is! Christopher Regulus Black. All shall be explained as we go on.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **I make no profit what-so-ever of this. It's just for loads of fun. I don't own any HP characters...the names you don't recognise are minde though...durf?

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********Chapter Two.**

**Previously on This is the way…**

One memory vividly entered my mind, a memory that I hated with passion, a memory I wish I could forget. The night I lost my brother, sister, godson and husband…

_I was sitting at home with Amelia, Timmy and Emily that Halloween. I was pregnant again…the baby would be born in two months, in December that is. Amelia had given birth to Timothy John Lupin just three months ago. _

_Sirius had gone out to check on Peter and we were alone. Then all of a sudden I got this feeling that something was going to happen today…something important that I should remember. Ever since I had had a meeting with Dumbledore almost a year ago I had had these feelings…every single one of them occurred before something important happened. Suddenly my head started to throb and these pictures flashed before my eyes. A green light, Harry, Lily screaming, James screaming, Sirius, Peter, a blast and then darkness. _

_It hit me like a ton of bricks, my memories…or well my knowledge of the future. And the meeting at Dumbledore's became clearer…he had put a spell on me…to make me forget…something must have gone wrong. Because I remembered now. I stared at Amelia and then told her that I had to go and look for Sirius…that I had a bad feeling. She protested at first but then she agreed and I apparated to Godric's Hollow. I knew that apparating in my state wasn't the best…but I had no other choice. The scene that met me…I will never forget that scene... James and Lily's beautiful house was fully visible…what was left of it. Some of the walls looked like they could fall down any minute; the door was blasted of the hinges and that smell…that awful smell of fear, distress and murder._

"_Who goes there?" a hiccupping, large and booming voice said. Hagrid. He was still here. I hurried towards the sound…well as fast as I could in my state._

"_Hagrid! It's me…Char…Charlotte Black…where are you…what…what happened?" I could feel the tears stinging in my eyes and I knew that my face was pale. He responded and I found him standing next to Sirius beloved bike holding onto a small bundle that could only be Harry. Sirius was no where in sight._

"_I dunno what exactly happened 'ere missus Black…but it was something terrible indeed…the Potters are…they're dead…and Harry…'e lived and Dumbledore wants 'im and…your husband was 'ere…Sirius 'e…'e had to go somewhere…shaken 'e was…left me 'is bike as it were…" he mumbled something else and patted me on the shoulder. I tried to convince him that I as Harry's godmother should take him but he said that he had Dumbledore's orders to follow. I nodded and watched him fly away. Sirius had been here…he was already looking for Peter. I apparated back home and told Amelia…I don't remember much after that…it was all a blur of tears. I can only remember falling asleep with Emily in my arms and dreaming about a loving, familiar voice that told me that he loved me and that he was sorry._

_When I woke up the next morning I hoped everything was just a dream…it wasn't. That's when I realized what Sirius was about to do…I had to stop him. Amelia who had spent the night followed me with Timmy in her arms when I walked down the street that I knew I would find them on. Suddenly I heard screaming and I started to walk faster…then came a blast. I was too late. I hurried to the scene and spotted Sirius standing in the middle of a crowd looking shocked and dazed. Then he started laughing. And not that bark like laugh that I had come to love, no this maniacal laugh that scared me a bit. Suddenly aurors appeared and took a hold of him, I quickly handed Emily to Amelia who was in shock and rushed over to the men._

"_Sirius!" I screamed and everyone turned to look at me. Sirius stopped laughing and a shocked and sorrowful expression showed on his face. _

"_Char" he said semi-loud, but I was so close that I heard it. A man grabbed me and said;_

"_Sorry miss…but you can't go…" I snarled at him and drew my arm out of him grip and threw myself at Sirius sobbing._

"_Sirius…what…what happened? I…I went to Godric's Hollow and…and then…Peter?" I looked at him with tears in my eyes and he just said;_

"_I failed them love…I failed and…please don't believe them…I…"_

"_I won't," I said knowing what he was talking about. _

"_I'm sorry miss…" a voice said and both Sirius and I said;_

"_That's Mrs." He looked shocked and said;_

"_Im terribly sorry mrs…?"_

"_Black…I'm his wife," I said sneering at the man who was getting on my nerves. He looked shocked and then his eyes dropped to my left hand and then to my rather large bump. How he missed that in the first place, I don't know._

"_Oh…"_

"_What are you doing? Get him away from here…and who let the girl near him?" the angry voice of Mad Eye Moody said from behind me. And once again the men started to drag Sirius away from me._

"_No!" I said and started after him but they took a hold of me too…_

"_No! Sirius! He's innocent! Let him go…let me go!" I screamed hysterically._

"_Oi! Let her go! Come on mate, let her go! She's pregnant and can't get stressed!" Sirius screamed and started struggling._

"_No…No! Sirius…Please!" I was crying now and Sirius was looking angry and devastated._

"_Char! I…I…love you! Tell Em I love her…and I'm sorry…I'm sorry…I love you!" they dragged him away and I stopped struggling and cried out;_

"_I love you too…I…I love you too…" I fell to my knees crying and didn't know what to do. I only reacted when Amelia came to me with Em and I hugged her and she said one of the first words she had learned…Daddy…_

I was sobbing when the memory faded. I angrily threw an empty bottle into the wall and then remembered the meeting I had with Dumbledore after that.

_I marched into the school and directly to Dumbledore's office. I screamed the password and went upstairs and threw the door open._

"_Did it work?" he had told me about a plan that might make Lily and James live…and that would help Sirius out of Azkaban. But the look in his eyes told me the answer before he could open his mouth._

"_Charlotte…I'm afraid it didn't work…and I take it you remember everything."_

"_Yes I do your damn memory charm didn't work as it should have! What went wrong? Why…why?" I started sobbing again. The old man looked at me sympathetically._

"_I am very sorry…"_

"_Is there anything we can do? Can we…can we get him out…can we…"_

"_No."_

"_What? But…but you know and I know about Peter…we could…"_

"_No…everything must go as planned…nothing can be altered…not when the plan failed" I stared dully at the man in front of me. This man that was supposed to be the greatest wizards of all time._

"_Then at least let me have Harry. I am his godmother. I can take care of him" I pleaded._

"_No he needs to be with his only living relative…on his mothers' side"_

"_But you know what will happen too him…you know…we can't let that happen. I want to take care of my godson. I promised Lily! Please Albus…please"_

"_Im sorry Mrs Black…but that is impossible. And besides you have a one year old and another baby on the way…and you are a single mother…" I knew he was thinking reasonable. But I just didn't want to hear it. The final blow came a week later when I was told by the damn minister of magic that I could not under any circumstances contact Harry Potter. At least not until he started school. Dumbledore's orders. That was the moment that I stopped trusting Albus Dumbledore._

Dumbledore…oh how I loathed that name. I had once looked up to the man, but after that day I saw nothing good about him. His damn memory charm made me forget almost everything about the books…it made me remember things seconds before they happened sometimes. But my ability to know the future…it was useless.

I started sobbing again. What had I done to deserve this really? I just didn't understand. I opened my small memory box and looked through the things in it. My necklace with a paw print, my bracelet, a part of my wedding gown. Everything was here. I picked up a small blue baby shoe…Christopher. When I was pregnant with him I was under a lot of stress…understandable, right? But in my stressful state…well….it caused some complications…

_I thought that the pain was going to kill me. Reggie was rushing me to saint Mungos at full speed. I had gotten these cramps and at first thought it was nothing…but now. _

"_Reggie hurry…I cant….aaarg…what if something happens to my baby…please be okay…please…" we reached the hospital and I was rushed to an emergency room…I cant remember much after that, I had apparently gone into shock mode. And Reggie was freaking out, but he told me this;_

_**Reggies POV **_

"_What's wrong…is the baby alright?" I asked. I feared that something was terribly wrong and glanced at a distressed Char. I couldn't imagine how she would feel if something was wrong with the baby._

"_Are you the father…mr…?" the doctor said looking at me strangely. I had a feeling that he was comparing me to my brother…his picture had been everywhere for weeks now. It nearly made Char break down to see his face in the news every day._

"_Mr Black…and no…I'm…" I hesitated but took a deep breath and said;_

"_I'm her brother-in-law" his facial expression told me everything. Sympathy, understanding…_

"_I feel sorry for the poor girl," he said nodding. I gave him a small nod and then asked again;_

"_What about the baby?" his expression turned grim._

"_Its understandable that she has been under a lot of stress lately…the baby is stressed as well and seems to be turning around a lot…we fear that he might get…" a loud beeping sound interrupted him and a wave of panic went through me when Char yelped._

"_Auuugh…something is wrong…get…aaah…get him out!" she screamed nearly hysterical. The doctor screamed for a nurse and said something about the baby suffocating…Char turned white as a sheet and started panicking. The doctor told me to calm her down and I did the best as I could._

"_Reggie…sob…why is this happening to me? What have I done…I…aaaaah…" she sobbed and screamed but calmed down slightly. The doctor ordered her to push and she looked like she was going to faint any minute. It was torture…I can't believe that my brother was with her when she gave birth to Emily…he hated to see Char in pain…how he managed this I would never understand. I looked at the doctor and discreetly said;_

"_Doctor…you need to tell me if something is terribly wrong so I can…she…she won't be able to handle it if something happens to that baby. She just lost both her brother, sister and husband…." I couldn't continue but the doctor nodded like he understood. Everything after that was a bloody blur. They got the baby out…a boy but…silence._

"_Why isn't he screaming? Why is it silent…what's wrong with him!" Char started to get hysterical again. I had never been in the actual room when someone gave birth…but I knew that if it was silent…well that wasn't a good sign._

_Char was sobbing at this point and moaning about; "Sirius…my…fault…Em…Lily…dead" then suddenly a baby's weak cry echoed in the room, it got stronger by the minute. And Chars head flew up…a nurse smiled at her and said;_

"_A beautiful baby boy…just took him a while to gather that scream" she handed Char a bundle and she took it gratefully. I looked down and saw a pair of deep brown eyes looking up at me…yes he had Char's eyes but the matt of black hair on his head was definitely my brothers…and his face…even now you could see how much he would resemble my brother and myself…strange._

"_Welcome to the world love…hi Christopher Regulus…"she smiled at me and I think that I stopped breathing…_

I chugged down the rest of the vodka and threw the bottle into the wall. That's when my eyes spotted it. The old wanted poster of him. And I remembered the day that he had escaped...


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own it. No Profit in it for me. *hums on random song*.

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_**Previously on This is the way…**_

I chugged down the rest of the vodka and threw the bottle into the wall. That's when my eyes spotted it. The old wanted poster of him. And I remembered the day that he had escaped...

**Chapter Three.**

_Twelve years. Twelve years had past since Sirius had been put into Azkaban. I had since then tried to convince Moony of his innocence, he did not believe me. But my kids…our kids believed that th__eir dad was innocent. And Chris…Christopher Regulus Black, our son had been born in December…about two months after Sirius imprisonment…hadn't even met his dad…only one time when I visited Azkaban…the last time they let me in there. _

_Em was supposed to begin her third year at Hogwarts…__she looked a lot like me when I was younger except for her eyes…they were grey, the same colour that Sirius eyes were. She was friends with Harry and the rest of the trio. I had only met Harry once…at the platform, at the end of last year. I had only seen him briefly and barely said hello to him. It was hurtful…to see that spitting image of James, Lily's son…my best friends' son…my godson to look at me…and not know me at all. _

_Chris was about to start his second year at Hogwarts…he was friends with Timmy Lupin and __Leo Black…his cousin, Regulus and Isabel's son. Chris was the spitting image of his father only he had my brown eyes. I sometimes found it hard to look at him. To think of it some days I found it hard to look at Em too…because of her eyes. It was weird having Sirius' eyes looking at me._

_This year Remus was supposed to teach at Hogwarts. This year would be different._

_It was a sunny day in June. I was doing the dishes and Em and Chris were fighting about something. I was just about to yell at them when the doorbell rang. I told Em to go and open the door and soon I heard her confused voice call for me. I walked into the living area and came face to face with C__ornelius Fudge, Kingsley Shacklebolt and Albus Dumbledore. I told Em and Chris to go to their rooms and then I addressed the men._

"_Minister, Kingsley…headmaster Dumbledore…what can I do for you?" they shared looks that I couldn't place and before they could say anything I told them to sit down._

"_Mrs Black…there has been an incident at Azkaban" Fudge said looking sombre. My breath hitched in my throat and my heart started to beat faster. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Em and Chris eavesdropping but I didn't do anything about it._

"_An…an incident sir?" I stammered._

"_Yes…Char…I mean Mrs Black…I'm afraid your husband has…escaped" Kingsley said. I could feel hope and happiness…but also worry._

"_Escaped? But…but how? No one has escaped from Azkaban ever…"_

"_Yes we are well aware of that. But we have reasons to believe that he would come here. To see you. You are his wife after all" Fudge said staring at me as if looking for some sort of sign. I laughed a humourless laugh and said;_

"_Here? You think that Sirius would come here? I'm sorry minister…but Sirius is not stupid. He knows that this is the first place your people will look for him…this is the last place he would come to…" I said staring at all the three men._

"_Even h__ow much he might want to…" I added quietly, I cleared my throat and continued;_

"_I assure you minister…this is the last place you will find Sirius at. He will not come here. I assure you that"_

"_You sound very sure of yourself Mrs Black. Have you had any contact at all with your husband?" he said suspiciously and I laughed a bitter laugh._

"_Contact? You must be joking….the last time I saw…let alone talked to Sirius was January 1982…when I went to Azkaban to show him our son…that is the last time your people let me into Azkaban…and since the ministry have forbidden us to write to each other…then how on earth would I have contacted him…hmm?" he looked annoyed that I had made a point._

"_I don't think the minister meant to be disrespectful __Mrs Black…he was only pointing out that you seem awfully sure of yourself…for someone that hasn't seen their husband in years" Dumbledore stated and I shot him a look._

"_Of course…no harm done. I just simply know my husband very well. You as well as I know that Sirius isn't that stupid. No one with a brain would come to the most obvious place…" I left it at that, intentionally insulting the minister without him knowing. _

_The weeks went by and I heard nothing __new about Sirius. I had told the truth to the minister and Co…Sirius would not come here, he wasn't that stupid. But that didn't stop me from hoping._

_Weeks turned into months and I got the most disturbing news that Sirius apparently had been spotted at Hogwarts._

I still remember that letter I got from Emily. Word for word. The letter was about them overhearing a conversation between some professors at Hogwarts and the minister. Harry apparently hated both her and Chris and Leo, and she was devastated. Before he hadn't minded…apparently they couldn't do anything about who their father or uncle was. But when she defended Sirius after that eavesdropping session…that was it. I started crying again. I still remember my response trying to comfort her, the best I could through a letter.

And then came that fateful night that I was at Hogwarts.

"_Moony…is that…is that the map?" I said when I entered his office. After the little fiasco when Snape had to take over his class he had asked me to do so this time. I was nervous…since many of the children would know that I was the supposed crazed murderers' wife._

"_Yes…yes it is…and Harry and the others are sneaking out…what the…no…no it can not be" I looked at him and then at the map. And there clear as mud was the name __**Peter Pettigrew**__. _

"_The rat! How dare he come to Hogwarts….near Harry! Near my kids!" I snarled I was on my way to the door in a minute. I didn't even see the tag labelled __**Sirius Black **__enter the map…_

_Moony passed me in the corridor running so fast that I didn't even have the chance to keep up with him. How the bloody hell was he able to run so fast? He had already entered the Womping Willow and half way through the tunnel before I had even climbed down it. I entered the shack and got stuck in a rotten plank._

"_Oh bloody hell…you have to be kidding me" I mumbled angrily. I heard some kind of commotion upstairs and a raspy voice saying;_

"_Are you going to kill me Harry?" then I heard Moony's voice screaming;_

"_Expelliarmus" I then heard talking…and something about werewolves…damn. I finally was able to get my foot loose and rushed up the stairs. I ran into the room without looking and said;_

"_Bloody hell Moony! How can you run so fast and still look so damn tired all the time…what's the rush anyway…" I stopped in mid-sentence and stared at the scene before me. Well not so much the scene…my eyes where drawn to the rugged man in the middle. His far too skinny body, dirty and ripped clothes, his dirty hair, face but most of all his eyes. His grey eyes, Sirius' eyes. I could actually hear my heart start to beat faster and my eyes widened._

"_Sirius?" I managed to get out and he stared back at me._

"_Char?" he said his voice raspy and not the voice I was used to. I walked slowly towards him, no one in the room existed, no one but him. I slowly touched his face and looked into his eyes._

"_Sirius is that…is that really you?" he stared and his lips formed a small smile._

"_The one and only, love" I burst into tears and threw my arms around him. He hugged me back tightly and I mumbled;_

"_Oh god…I missed you so much…so much…" he started to rub my shoulder comfortingly but soon broke the embrace and told me that we had some important matters to attend to._

"_You…you're Emily and Chris' mum…you…you" Harry suddenly stuttered._

"_Hello Harry…its nice to meet you…even if it isn't the best of times…" I smiled hesitantly; Sirius looked confused about Harry not knowing me. Next thing I know we're telling the whole story… how Remus became a werewolf, the fact that the marauders became animagus. Who the marauders were…are…but we left out Peter…better leave him for last…_

"_But that was a very dangerous game! Running around like that…someone might have gotten bitten!" Hermione said aghast._

"_A thought that haunts me even to this day…" Remus said sadly. _

"_Mrs Black…how could you allow it!" I smiled guiltily and said;_

"_Well I didn't meet the marauders before sixth year…and I was young. And these charming young guys told me about being animagus and how they got away with it all. I found it very interesting and cool…" she looked at me like I was crazy._

"_Sometimes it was very close, and it could have gone very wrong. But afterwards we laughed about it…"Remus continued sadly._

"_They were young and intoxicated by how clever they were…I was not much better really… I mean we were the definition of cool…all of us thought we pretty much ruled the school…" I said shrugging; it was all in the past. Remus told them about his guilt, towards Dumbledore and his kindness. _

"_I've been battling myself all year. Thinking about whether or not I should tell him about Sirius being an animagus" he looked at me and my eyes widened._

"_I know that Char never thought of it…because she's been thinking that Sirius was innocent all this time" Sirius gave me a thankful glance and I just smiled. _

"_So in a way…Snape's been right about me all this time…"he muttered. This caught Sirius attention, who had been staring at the rat the whole time._

"_Snape? What's he got to do with anything?" _

"_He's here, Sirius. He's teaching at Hogwarts" Remus said, giving a huge sigh. Then he turned to the kids again and explained;_

"_Professor Snape went to school with us. He fought very hard against me becoming a teacher. And the whole year he's been telling Dumbledore that I can't be trusted…he has his reasons…Sirius played a prank on him once, a prank that almost killed him and it involved me…" Remus looked sad and I winched sympathetically at that small event._

"_He deserved it…always sneaking around, trying to figure out what we were doing, hoping to get us expelled" Sirius muttered and I just rolled my eyes. Even if James and Remus didn't talk to him for months after that prank, he still never thought that he did anything wrong. I wasn't there at the time but he told me that's how he felt…_

"_He was very interested in where I went every month. And well…we…well…" he cut himself off trying to figure out what to say._

"_We didn't really like each other…He especially held a grudge towards James, he was jealous you see…" I said smiling grimly thinking of Lily. _

"_Anyways…Severus had seen me walking over the grounds one night with madam Pomfrey…he saw me climb into the womping willow…and Sirius though that it might be funny if he…eeh…told Severus how to get inside the tunnel. Of course he tried it, and if he would have made it to this very shack he would have met a full grown werewolf. But your dad, who found out what Sirius had done, went after Severus and saved his life, but he caught a sight of me. Dumbledore made him promise not to tell anyone but…after that he knew what I am…" Remus looked tired and sad, and I saw that Sirius looked very regretful for causing his friend pain._

"_That's why Snape can't stand you professor Lupin…he thinks you were in on Sirius prank" Harry stated slowly._

"_Exactly" a cold, draping voice said…Severus Snape had arrived…_

"_Vengeance is sweet…__How I hoped I'd be the one to catch you." Snape said smirking. Moony stepped up and said;_

"_Severus," trying, in vain, to reason with him. But Snape, being the complete idiot he can be sometimes, pointed his wand at him and said;_

"_I told Dumbledore you were helping an old friend into the castle. Here's the proof." I snorted and said;_

"_Oh shove off __Snape." He turned his wand to me and I heard Sirius growl._

"_Ah…of course the criminals little wife is here as well…" I sneered at the man that I sometime counted as a friend…this was not one of those times, and Sirius said;_

"_Brilliant, Snape. You put your keen mind to the task and come to the wrong conclusion". Here Sirius offered him a mocking smile, malice dripping from every word. I smirked and Moony rolled his eyes. _

"_If you'll excuse us, Remus, Char and I have business...to attend to." He stepped closer to Snape, it all started to remind me of when he used to threaten him in school. Only this time, Snape was the one with the wand._

"_Give me a reason. I beg you!" _

"_Don't be a fool." Moony said once again trying to reason with them._

"_He can't help it." Sirius said smirking and I said;_

"_It's__ habit by now" smirking just as much, I swear I heard Moony sigh and he said;_

"_Be quiet."_

"_Be quiet yourself!" Sirius and I exclaimed at once, ah now it really felt like we were back at school._

"_You three, quarrelling like an old married couple." Snape sneered and Sirius said;_

"_Run along and play with your chemistry set!" followed by my;_

"_And wash that greasy hair while you're at it!" Okay so I had been friendly and nice to Snape over the years, and we had pretty much forgotten the school stuff and buried the war axe…but right now he was getting on my nerves…_

"_I could do it, you know." He sneered and showed his wand almost into Sirius nose._

"_But why deny the Dementors? They're so longing to see you," he sneered maliciously. And I felt my blood freeze when he mentioned them._

"_Do I detect a flicker of fear?" He continued smirking at Sirius who indeed lost his confident stand._

"_Oh, yes. A Dementor's Kiss. One can only imagine what that must be like. It's said to be nearly unbearable to witness, but I'll do my best." I couldn't help it, I just had to turn around and throw up in the corner. It was just too much, the mental pictures of that happening to Sirius. I couldn't stand it. Sirius shot me a worried look and reached for me but Snape jabbed him with his wand. But I saw a flicker of pity in his eyes when he watched me heave another time. _

"_Severus, please." Remus said looking pointedly at me, who had finally recovered and was now glowering at Snape for giving me that mental picture. Then he tied Remus up and was just about to do something similar to Sirius and I, but then two very familiar voices mixed with the shouts from Harry and Hermione screamed;_

"_Expelliarmus" and Snape flew into the wall…unconscious. _

"_Damn…" I said looking at the unconscious professor._

"_We knocked out a teacher!" the terrified gasp came from Hermione. But then an all too familiar voice snorted and said;_

"_So what Mione…it's just fucking Snape…" My sons' voice said and I spotted him and his sister grinning in the doorway._

"_Christopher Regulus watch your language…have I not told you not to use that kind of language! Even if it is stupid Snivellus…" I scolded but ended the lecture with a grin._

"_Sni-what?" Em said grinning, her eyes lighting up. I snickered and answered;_

"_An old nickname…" but then both Em and Chris lost their grins when they spotted Sirius next to me, who was staring open mouthed at them._

"_D-Dad?" Em said stuttering peering at Sirius through her bangs._

"_Em? Emily Rose is that…is that you? You've…grown" Sirius said staring at her. Suddenly a grin lit up Em's face and she screamed;_

"_Dad!" and threw herself at him hugging him, Sirius looked shocked but happy._

"_Yeah…it's me princess" I smiled at the old nickname…but then Sirius looked over at Chris who was still staring in shock. _

"_Um…hi. You must be Christopher then…I've only met you once…sorry about that. And well you've grown too…well you were only a small __infant when I met you so…I'm…I'm your dad…and its really…nice to meet you…love, help me out here I don't know what to say I sound like a complete idiot," Sirius said glancing at me. I smiled and tugged Chris towards us and said;_

"_Don't you always?" he scowled at me and then he looked at Chris._

"_I…I like to be called Chris," he said awkwardly but still grinning and then he hugged his dad for the first time. I smiled and Emily stepped into my arms hugging me. But then we all remembered why we were here. Sirius untied Moony. Harry seemed to be the first one to recover so he blurted out;_

"_Tell me about Peter!" Moony was the quickest to answer;_

"_He was in school with us. We thought he was our friend!" _

"_No. Pettigrew's dead. You killed him!" Harry shouted and pointed at Sirius. _

"_No, he didn't." I said._

"_I thought so too, until you mentioned Pettigrew on the map!" Remus exclaimed._

"_The map was lying, then." Harry said matter-of-factly. Oh the poor ignorant boy._

"_The map never lies!" Sirius said like it was obvious. Which to us…it was._

"_Pettigrew's alive! And he's right there!" Sirius said and pointed at the rat. All the kids stared at him like he was mental, but only Ron voiced his opinion. _

"_Me?! He's mental!"_

"_Not you! Your rat!" Sirius said getting frustrated, patience never was one of his strong traits and I put a calming hand on his arm._

"_Scabbers have been in my family for..." Ron started and I interrupted and said;_

"_Twelve years?"_

"_That's a curiously long life for a common garden rat…" Chris stated suddenly and everyone turned to look at him. He just shrugged and made a face that screamed "what?"_

"_He's missing a toe, isn't he?" Sirius said sounding slightly excited…and well crazed. _

"_So what?" Ron muttered looking confused and hugging the rat._

"_All they could find of Pettigrew was his..." Harry said in disbelief. _

"_Finger!" Sirius and I exclaimed together and then shooting each other a small smile._

"_Dirty coward cut it off so everyone would think he was dead! And then he transformed into a rat!" Sirius continued angrily and I felt a tear fall down my cheek at the memory._

"_But…you __can't mean that you broke out of Azkaban just to get Scabbers…I mean…there are thousands of rats…how did you know this was the right one…?" Ron stuttered out._

"_You know…Sirius…that is a good question. How did you find out where he was?" Remus said looking mystified. Sirius looked frustrated but I gave him a look so he sighed and dug out an old newspaper clipping from his pocket. There were the Weasley's on their trip to Egypt, and on Ron's shoulder…sat Scabbers._

"_How did you manage to get your hands on that?" Remus said._

"_Fudge. He came and inspected Azkaban…gave me his paper taunted me some about an article with Char in it…" he looked at me sadly and I gave him a weak smile._

"_I'll be damned…it all fits then…" Remus said._

"_Of course it does…the dirty little rat screamed for everyone to hear how I had betrayed Lily and James…and then he…well you know…"he said grimly and I took his hand again._

"_He's been losing weight…hasn't he? Ever since he learned that Sirius was free…" Remus said in triumph…happy to finally know the truth and understand it._

"_He's been afraid of that mad cat!" Ron pointed at Crookshanks. _

"_He's not mad…smartest animal of his kind I've ever met. As soon as I met him he knew I wasn't a dog. He helped me try to get to Peter" Sirius said stroking the cat. Then he explained to Hermione what a big part her pet had played in his hunt for Peter. _

"_But why did he escape…because he knew that you were going to kill him like you did to my parents!" Harry screamed at Sirius._

"_You're wrong Harry…" I said with tears in my eyes but he continued._

"_And now you're here to finish him off!"_

"_Yes I am" Sirius said glaring at the rat._

"_Then I should have let Snape take you" he said angrily._

"_Harry…can't you see the connection…all this time we've thought…well everyone but Char and her kids…that Sirius betrayed your parents…but it was Peter…Peter betrayed them…all along it was him…"_

"_No! __He was the secret keeper…he admitted to have killed them!" Harry screamed angrily pointing at Sirius._

"_I did. I suggested that we switch secret keepers. __No one would suspect that Peter was the one, the death eaters would come after me. I was going to ask Dumbledore to be Char and the kids' secret keeper so they would be safe. It was a brilliant plan I though…if I had only known that Peter was the spy…" here he shot Moony an apologizing gaze. He had after all thought that Moony was the spy._

"_Show me." Harry said looking at us._

"_Ron…__could you give me the rat" I said kindly. He hesitated but gave it to me. _

"_On three" Moony said and then we did the spell. And soon instead of having a twitching rat in front of us a twitching Peter Pettigrew stood there._

"_Hello Peter. We were just discussing the night Lily and James died." Moony said glaring at him I sneered and said;_

"_Yeah don't know if you heard us when you were squeaking in the corner" he twitched even more and stared at our angry faces;_

"_R-Remus…S-Sirius…C-Char…my old friends…" I snorted and said;_

"_We're no friends of yours…"__ He tried to run but Sirius and Moony grabbed him. They pushed him towards the wall and we all stood in front of him glaring._

"_You sold them to Voldemort didn't you!" Moony accused furiously. I watched as the rat flinched at the mentioning of his old master. Sirius laughed a humour__less laugh and said;_

"_What, afraid of your old masters name?" I sneered and then he started whimpering;_

"_I didn't mean to! The Dark Lord, you have no idea the weapons he possesses! Ask yourself what you would have done, Sirius. What would you have done!" Sirius growled and screamed;_

"_I would have died! Died rather than betray my friends! Just like any of us would have done for you!" I glanced at Sirius when he said this, and I knew it was true. How much it hurt me…I knew that he would die rather than betray James…or me…how much it would hurt me to lose him…and I was surprised to realize that I too would have died rather than tell Voldemort where James and Lily where…even if that meant that I would leave Emily, Chris and Sirius behind…I was drawn out of my thoughts when Hermione turned away from Peter after his minor grovelling session with her, then he spotted Harry and threw himself at him whimpering;_

"_Harry! Look at you. You look so much like your father. James. We were the best of friends..." I could feel my blood start to boil…how dare he! But Sirius beat me to it and he went in front of Harry and pushed Peter away screaming;_

"_How dare you speak to Harry!? How dare you talk about James in front of him!" then Peter probably made one of the biggest mistakes of his life, he turned towards me and my kids._

"_Char please…you were always so nice to me" I was? How come I don't remember that?_

"_You wont let them hurt me will you? And your kids they are so beautiful…looks just like their parents they do…" he reached for Emily and I didn't even have time to react before Sirius gripped his collar and held him in front of his face growling._

"_Don't you even dare…go near my wife or children ever again. Don't you ever speak to my family again!" he dropped him on the ground still growling. Peter once again made a jump towards Harry but this time Moony and Sirius grabbed his arms and the rat screamed;_

"_James wouldn't have wanted me killed! Your dad would have spared me! He would have shown me mercy!" and as much as it hurt to think it…the rat was right._

"_Should have realized, Peter, if Voldemort didn't kill you, we would. Together!" Moony said and they pointed their wands towards him._

"_No!" Harry said suddenly and everyone turned towards him in disbelief. And in that moment I saw very much of both James and Lily in him. _

"_Harry, this man..." Moony started in a disbelieving voice._

"_I know what he is. But we'll take him to the castle." Harry said calmly._

"_Bless you, boy. Bless you!" Peter screamed and threw himself at Harry for the third time._

"_Get off! I said we'd take you to the castle. After that, the dementors can have you." He said and Peter paled. And everyone nodded in understanding. We bound Peter and Sirius sadly stated that two of us should be strapped to him. Moony volunteered and so did Ron, I think he felt guilty or something because Peter had been his pet. We decided that Sirius should levitate Snivellus and then we were off. First was Hermione and after that Snape floated, occasionally bumping his head on the roof Sirius walked after him and I was next to him. After us came Chris, Em and Harry all of them walking silently. Moony and Ron strapped to Peter came up last. I took Sirius arm and made him lower Snape, he pouted at me and I said;_

"_Hey…I don't want to be the one that explains the bumps in his head" he grinned and slipped his arm around me looking backwards at the kids. _

"_Does he know?" he whispered to me and I nodded slowly. He didn't even have to specify what he meant. __He smiled slightly but then he frowned again._

"_How come…Harry doesn't seem to know you?" I sighed and smiled sadly._

"_When you were imprisoned…when…Lily and James died…Dumbledore and the minister forbade me to contact Harry, don't ask me why because I don't know" he growled a bit and I couldn't help but smile._

"_You really haven't changed much have you?" I smiled at him and winked. H__e let out a snort and leaned into my ear and whispered;_

"_Really…then how come I'm the rugged, dirty and wrinkly one and you still look like you did the day I married you?" I blushed. I actually blushed. I hadn't done that in years. But leave it to Sirius to manage that, and the man had only been back in my life for a couple of hours!_

"_Hey keep it PG you two…there are children present!" the voice of my own son drifted from behind us. Both of us turned and watched when Emily smacked him on the arm and Harry tried to stifle his laughter. _

"_Well I'm sorry that I haven't seen my husband in years! Now get over here you little __monster!" I said and he ran over and wedged himself between Sirius and me pouting._

"_Monster! See how she treats me dad!? I'm glad that your back...now I won't have to be alone against these unreasonable women…" he said grinning up at his dad. I saw Sirius eyes twinkle when the word "dad" came out so naturally from Chris's mouth._

"_Unreasonable!?" Emily said and walked up beside me._

"_What do you talking about? All you have to do is pout and mum does anything for you!" she exclaimed grinning at me, Sirius gave me a look and I blushed…again!_

"_Really?" he said smirking._

"_Yeah dad… it's totally unfair! He can weasel himself out of anything with just one look! And he's a total mummy's boy" she stuck her tongue at her brother and Chris made a face and said;_

"_Am not! It's not my fault that mum always gives into my charms" he smirked and Sirius let out one of his bark like laughs that I had missed. He smirked and looked down at me and said;_

"_So…what have you got to say for yourself love?" out of the corner of my eye I saw Chris stick out his tongue and Emily sigh dreamingly when all I could do was smile myself and sigh;_

"_What! It's not my fault that he looks so damn much like you and he somehow learned that patent look of yours…probably saw it in a picture or something. And you know that I can't say no to that puppy dog look!" I said to my defence. It was all true after all. The kids snickered and Chris said;_

"_Cool! Now we can do all kinds of stuff just using the look…right dad?" he smiled his charming grin that he inherited from his dad and I could hear Moony snort all the way from back where he was. Sirius gave him a smile and said;_

"_Sorry to disappoint you here son but your mum's got a much bigger hold on me that I have on her…but we'll try eh?" the last part he stage whispered and winked at me. I just smiled and then looked back at Harry, who was now walking alone and looking at us wistfully. I couldn't help but feel pity…here we were reuniting and leaving Harry outside. I looked at Sirius and caught his eye, once he stopped gazing at his kids. He raised an eyebrow and I nodded back to Harry, he looked and nodded. Then he stopped walking to fall back with his godson. Chris looked like he was about protest but I gave him a look and he kept quiet. It may be true that that boy could weasel himself out of almost anything when it came to me…he was my little baby after all…but he also knew when it was good for him to listen to me._

_I heard snippets __of their conversation, for example Harry's excitement when Sirius talked about him moving in with us. That and his worry that it would upset Sirius family…oh Harry, how could it possibly do that? I caught Sirius eye and he motioned for me to step back with them, I did and smiled and winked at Harry._

"_I know you heard everything, and you don't mind at all, do you love?" he said smirking his trademark smirk. I smiled and said;_

"_No I don't…we would be happy to have you__ Harry…it is what Lily would have wanted." His eyes lit up at my mentioning of Lily._

"_Where…you close with my mum and dad as well?" he asked shyly, blushing when I smiled kindly at him._

"_Yes, I was. James was like a brother to me. I lived with Sirius and him at your grandparents for a while actually. And Lil…Lily was my best friend. My sister." He smiled and nodded. Then Sirius suddenly turned towards Ron and said;_

"_Sorry about that little nip by the way…I was trying to get to the rat" Ron who was stumbling forward looked shocked, I don't know if it was because Sirius, supposed crazed murderer was talking to him or the fact that he referred to the wound on his left leg as a nip._

"_You almost tore my leg off!" Chris snorted and Hermione rolled her eyes. The moment was interrupted by a grovelling rat. _

"_Turn me into a flobberworm. Anything but the Dementors!" He turned to Ron and threw himself on the ground before him._

"_Ron! Haven't I been a good pet? You won't let them give me to the dementors, will you? I was your rat!" Peter swiftly turned towards Hermione as Ron pulled away from him in disgust. I never thought that he would stop grovelling. That's when it happened, the clouds parted and the full moon shed her light over us. Remus started shaking and letting out sounds of agony. I had never seen him transform, and it wasn't exactly something I wanted to see. The danger we were in registered in my mind as Sirius ran towards his old friend and started speaking to him about potions and his heart. It was somewhere in between Sirius screaming at us to run and Chris tugging on my sleeve that Severus woke up. He, unaware of the situation started to lecture the kids but soon he urged us all to run. I grabbed Chris's and Emily's hands and started to drag them after me, Sirius would be okay, I hoped. It was in the middle of that tumult that Harry went after the full grown werewolf and Padfoot…_

Even to this day it pains me that I didn't go after them right then and there. But what could I have done? I had to help Severus get Ron inside as well as the other kids. Unfortunately that led to Sirius nearly dying and being captured. But Harry saved him…I don't think I'll ever forget that conversation we had right before Sirius rode off on Buckbeak…


End file.
